Isn’t it funny how sometimes no matter what you do and what carefully laid plans you may have spent hours formalising; life just throws curve balls so fast you cannot return them all.

And this time what a curve ball.

Out / leave / Brexit.

I don’t think the full impact has really hit home and only now is the reality starting to hit with yet new crises hitting the government daily. Unfortunately in a week since the referendum result, Don’t get me wrong I campaigned for people to go out and vote but I have been shocked at the reaction of those that did vote to leave and are already regretting the decision; but they won. Where are their celebrations? Particularly I have been amazed to hear how many people say “I only voted to make a stand; we didn’t expect to win”.

Have we all lost any modicum of intelligence, our sense of reason, our view of democracy; if you vote for something in this country at least while we are a democracy, you may win and that means you have to deal with the consequences of your actions.

I cannot believe the deep dividing damage this referendum has done. Families have been split with partners not able to talk about it, children unable to agree with parents and grandparents. I know of one friend whose elderly gran now will have nothing to do with her or her son. I hope they can be reconciled sooner rather than later. Husband and wife friends who can hardly talk to each other, if only for their children’s sake I hope they speak soon.

The damage will not heal for a long long time to come. It could be generations before the memory of why we don’t talk to that side of the family eases enough to rebuild. And all this was played out before any stubby little pencil was lifted on the day. I don’t for one minute think that had the result been to remain the division would be any less, the rift was already ruptured.

I am angry, a very deep down anger that makes me feel sick to the stomach. It is not so much the result which was always inevitable if not now then later. Had the very close vote been reversed the shock and resentment would have been just as visible and brutal but the other way round. I am angry by the hype and propaganda played by all sides in this bitter battle.

I am irate that such a life changing and key decision can be left to a simple yes/no, asked from us the ignorant. We are not the experts, we are not the holder of the purse strings of the country, we do not have the knowledge or involvement to make an informed decision this momentous and binding.

I feel betrayed not just by politicians who let’s face it; are only voted in if they have enough charisma to carry the populous with them, and are paid to win the debate however they see fit. I feel betrayed by the people around me, the everyday people who didn’t take this seriously; they preferred to be led by hype than to actually understand what they were about to vote on. The people who believed what was being said even as the hype escalated into the higher levels of fiction and fantasy, but could not be bothered to find out what it was all about.

I am being naïve really; who actually reads the small print before signing. Who actually asks what the contract wording actually means and who even knows what we have just left. Not many apparently as Google crashed the day after the referendum under the pressure of requests for “what is the EU”. It’s like signing up to a 24 month phone contract and then realising you have the wrong provider and you cannot get a signal without standing on the roof swinging from the aerial to speak to anyone. It is too late!

Maybe I am lucky, as I don’t have time to watch all the mud-slinging and the fancy propaganda that has followed this campaign around. I did, however write an article for publication explaining what it was all about and I believe it was a very balanced article; that was the feedback I had. What it enabled me to do was look at the small print, read the treaty, unpick the concessions and the reactions to us getting them and understand the process.

It was 1707 when Scotland and England became united, then in 1922 Ireland left the union, almost immediately Northern Ireland came back to form the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland shortened to the easier United Kingdom or UK.

After the Second World War a group of countries got together to adopt an economic and friendly co-operation with the basic concept; countries who trade together are less likely to go to war against each other. And the European Union was forged. Well that forging of foreign foes has been destroyed in one very close vote; the repercussions of which will ripple far beyond the shores of the UK.

I know there are certain rules and legislation that annoy the hell out of me; light bulbs why do they have to be so dark? When I am struggling to read; at that moment in time, I care little about the future of planet earth and global warming I care about the strain and effort on my eyes to see the small print. The same with the hoover and the kettle, when I need a cup of tea I need it now not later when the kettle has had time to think about warming up slowly. I of course cannot blame all these on just the EU as the UK, a major player, was very much instrumental in making these for ourselves as we were with every rule, initiative and decision made in Brussels. And what exactly is the point of metric?

I have my own fears and worries about the future. Sexy Sporty Dad and I are in a precarious age bracket and we both worry now our jobs could be at risk. He does not know how things will change for him but being in a relatively high position he will be in the early firing line if things cannot calm down. I work for small businesses who are just struggling to get over one recession that saw many go out of business, so I hope the few that did survive can weather this storm, because without them I have no work. Every cloud has a silver lining and I would have no excuse not to get my book ready and out.

I do hear there is a job available urgently and to be in place by September, checking my diary I seem to be pretty free.

Job Description:
To pick up the broken pieces of a battered nation, kiss it all better and guide it through the most precarious decision making, and choice of options available whilst stemming the flow of lifeblood and trying to save such major limbs as Scotland and Northern Ireland. To negotiate with the other children in the playground of Europe who have turned on this loudmouthed and biggest troublemaker and don’t want him back with his special needs and wants, so that he can at least have some corner of the continental concourse to make new friends.

I hesitate what nation needs picking up and whether there is anything to salvage with all parties imploding in on themselves. Maybe now would be a time to start afresh and create the united rational party with the premise to make it a better world for our children.

So how to begin?

How about; a nice cup of tea and maybe a small slice of good old fashioned Victoria sponge.